Net Neutrality

Part 1:  Real Ultimate Power

People are spewing vitriol without understand what title 2 means in the slightest. They have no idea what the FCC is and how it operates. They have simply seen the memes and are reacting accordingly.

Even philosophically speaking, would you want 5 people who have a high turnover rate, are beholden to a political party in a 3-2 split, and have almost zero accountability, rule the internet with an iron fist? Think that’s a good idea? This is the same organization that will fine you for showing female bodies, or saying words it doesn’t think are nice. You and I both know there are a lot of things that we watch that aren’t nice. “Isn’t that a slippery slope?” No, it really isn’t. It only takes 3 people to pass regulations once title 2 is in place. Just 3. Think about that for a second. What if 3 people were convinced that internet pornography was a plague on humanity. POOF it can become illegal to transmit it. Without title 2, you’d need an act of congress. You’d have to literally convince hundreds of people. What if the government (under your favorite president donald trump) decided that what he thinks fake news is should be illegal as a plan to fight terrorism. Well, no problem! 3 of Don’s homies can pass a regulation that can fine ISPs for allowing data that he has deemed unworthy to pass through to your eyes. That’s exactly what happens on the airwaves now. Yes, today that already happens. You can’t show breasts on TV because the FCC said so. They determined that breasts and bad language are bad for you, and passed regulations that make providers legally accountable for the content that they are transporting. Think about this: there are people that are willing to cede that awesome level of power over the internet to 3 people just because they are afraid of an increase in the cost of Netflix.

THANK GOD that we currently have an FCC that has chosen to not keep this crap in place. I’m amazed that in our lifetime we’ve seen ANY part of government give up power of this magnitude. This is no joke, this isn’t some kind of tinfoil hat rant. This is a big deal, and we should be eternally grateful that we got to witness this bullet-dodge.

Part 2:  No you fucking idiot, you won’t see alacart packages.

more to come here when I finish writing it.  Fuck you -physt

Dumb rant about child rearing, stratification and public schools.

This was another stupid section of a debate.  It’s not worth reading, but because I wrote a lot of shit it’s worth archiving here.  I’ll try and turn it into a better set of articles later.



Thanks bro for a well thought out reply. Let’s use a couple good buzz words. There is a very very high amount of correlation between IQ and success in life. Pretty obvious right? If you are smarter and can think quickly you can learn things quickly and succeed with high paying jobs that require on-the-fly decision making. Problem is that you can’t do anything to increase your IQ, all you can do is prevent a loss of it. And the only things you can do to prevent that loss are avoiding lead paint and making sure you aren’t raised in a dark hole with no input. Dammit, that sucks. However there is a second trait highly correlated with success in life, and this is all before you even factor in any real knowledge or career path choices. Conscientiousness. And that can definitely be cultivated, especially during your formative years. The only curriculum that matters is one rooted in struggle, discipline, and proper socialization. I don’t have any kids nor am I really qualified to provide you with any advice, but I have definitely thought about this more than most. Step 1 is obviously providing a stimulating upbringing with consistency. Step 2 is making sure you don’t have any lead based paint. That’ll cover IQ. It’ll be as high as it can be. Next you need to instill as much conscientiousness as humanly possible. That means lots and lots of hard work. No matter what the work is, make it challenging and tedious. Make the work itself into a reward system. Insure your child can sit still and accomplish tasks as early as possible with little to no complaining. During that time make sure you let your kids be social with other kids. Everything I’ve read is that you have between the ages of 2 and 4 to make sure your kid knows how to play properly. Make sure your kid sticks to rules of games, and can lose gracefully. Make sure other kids want to play with your kid.
People in life with both High IQ (or at least medium+) and high conscientiousness are powerhouses of success and will be awesome no matter what they are up against. As soon as these kids hit formal schooling they will be a force to be reckoned with. Make sure at this point you provide your kid with all kinds of extra stuff to do, since the public school system won’t be near enough. Final bit of advice, no matter what you do, make sure the kid does all his work “the long way” His/her high IQ and conscientiousness will mean that tests will be easily passed and that he’ll easily find quick paths to answers. He’ll blaze through homework in minutes when it should take hours. This mindset completely screws the kid over later in life when he has to “pay the piper”.

Ok, let’s talk about “class stratification”. You aren’t really correct when you say that people end up like their parents. Your parents don’t even end up like your parents statistically. While the strata are definitely real, the people in them constantly shift. I don’t mean casually. I mean that if you are poor now, there is a very good chance you will be wealthy/much less poor/etc at some point and vice verse. Nearly 90% of America will shift over 20 percentage points in their life. The top 1% is constantly shifting around. The bottom rarely stays at the bottom generationally. Wealthy families are statistically non existent and can’t hold onto their money for more than 2.5 generations. Also (I’m sure you know) that the poorest people in America are some of the wealthiest people on earth, and easily the wealthiest in history. I am assuming you are in the US with a decently nice computer and broadband internet. That means you are doing a hell of a job! I do a lot of financial ranting on social media, at least lately. I retired at 37, and I get asked very often how I did it. I can promise you this: there is really only one rule you need to follow to become very wealthy. Don’t buy dumb shit. If you follow this rule, and have a “career” instead of a McJob, you can accumulate a massive amount of resources in between 10 and 20 years time. I have done this math in other posts and I’m happy to break it all down for you if you like. And I’m not even slightly joking about this either. This boggles people’s minds, but the only things you need to become wealthy are time and discipline.

If I were to make a change to the public school systems, I’d completely deregulate them 100% and insure they were 100% decentralized. I’d let each school do whatever it wanted with each kid. With any markets you’d have a bell curve. You’d have a few very good ones, and a few very bad ones, and most of them would be pretty good as opposed to pretty bad because at least they were competing. You’d have a bell curve of school consumers too. You’d have a few willing to send their kid to the best ones no matter the cost. You’d have a ton of people picking within 2-3 schools which are all about the same. And you’d have a bottom group that didn’t give a crap and sent their kids to the most convenient and cheapest one possible. Yeah, in my model some kids get screwed on this deal, I suppose. But are they really fully screwed? Just because you went to a bad primary school doesn’t mean your life is over. Are you not a good person because you didn’t go to the harvard of elementary schools? What if you only make 35k instead of 100k as a result. Is that really a crime against humanity? The worst off people in america are still living in paradise.

Physt shits on an anti american meme

So someone had posted this shitty meme that had these words in it:

Germans ARE patriotic.

In America you show patriotism by attaching a full size US flag on your pickup truck (Or confederate flag for alternative patriotism), singing the anthem before every baseball game, and sending 18 year olds to Iraq so you can later thank them for their service when they roll by you in their wheelchair in Walmart.

In Germany we show patriotism by voting for higher taxes on ourselves to make healthcare and college tuition universally accessible to our less fortunate fellow citizens, and by picking up after one another to keep public spaces clean and nice for everyone.

I guess it gets lost in translation.


Well, I had to write a reply to this fucking bullshit.  Here you go, you’ll probably see some shit I’ve said in other articles.


This is utter rubbish and I’ll be happy to break some of it down for you.

1. Anyone that wants higher taxes on a whim does not understand how money works or how wealth is actually created. Period. I provided a nice example in that other thread and I’ll be happy to do it again here. Suppose you are a happy western family and you and your wife both make 50k. There’s a damned good chance that’s just about everyone in this thread. Suppose your jackass government increases taxes so that your family now has to pay an additional 15k dollars per year. Well over 20 years at 8% That 15 thousand dollars cost you: 741,343.82. Yes over 7 hundred thousand dollars. I started googling for fun and it looks like belgium has one of the highest effective tax rates on their income at 43%. That of course doesn’t factor in property tax, sales tax, and sin taxes. I’d say that number is much closer to 60%. Or in the case of our family. 60k per year. Let’s do that math again. 2,965,375.29. Yes if you live in belgium you are out 3 million dollars in 20 years. This is why people need to be really really fucking sure when they increase taxes. That shit takes a massive toll on people. “But these guys all get great benefits for their money” yeah? 3 million dollars? want me to do the math on 30 years instead? 7,340,752.08 That’s 7 million dollars. How about 40 years? 16,786,862.41. Most people retire in their 60s so 16 MILLION is actually more accurate. Is your free education and health care worth 16 MILLION dollars? I’ll be happy to go over some deeper math with any one of you liberals any time you’d like.

2. Universal college tuition is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. You all know that college is much more than tuition right? Books, housing, cost of living on campus, lab fees are all astronomically expensive. If you are simply paying for tuition you are just giving money to people that can already afford it. what, do you hate poor people? No poor person can afford college if you only cover tuition. Second suppose you want to double down and say that the government should pay for all of the above that’s great. You know we have entire classes of people that have neither the desire nor the capability to go to college. Hell 10% of the population can’t even go into the army due to low levels of intelligence. Think that money isn’t going to be pissed into the wind? Any of you dummies actually consider that the rising cost of tuition happened because we allowed everyone in the US to get approved for government backed student loans? What do you think it will do if everyone has “free” education. Think it’ll be nice and low and cost the government what it does now? Or do you think that shit will soar into the stratosphere? Hrmmmmmmmm.

3. Do you think americans don’t help each other? Well I see 2 hurricanes that say otherwise. People aren’t actually all selfish assholes like you damned cynics all say. People are generally all right most of the time. Despite what the media tells you, they’ll help each other out. What really fucking sucks though is that I bet you are suggesting it be done at gunpoint. That’s what happens when you use the state to force it. No way people will have some resentment?



Also I’m happy to touch on some of the American Patriot points above in this shitty meme. I’ll start with the obvious. It’s pretty fucking nice to belong. In America we are all americans. If I wave my big flag off the back of my pickup truck and some guy gives me a “fuck yeah bro” and a nod. That shit feels really good. Life is a horrible fucking tragedy with us dying at the end, but at least we are on the same damned team. In the eyes of an American Patriot that shit transcends all these dumbass differences that the media wants to beat into us. At least we are all Americans. Why do you think the conservatives hate it when you rip down all the American shit? Hrmmmmmmmmmm. Yeah sure america did some really bad things, but also remember that a lot of people fucking died in the process of us getting where we are today. Show a little fucking respect. To an american patriot, when kap kneels during the anthem, it’s willfully disrespecting something great that we love. There’s not a lot of things that bring people joy anymore, but belonging to a nation can really take the edge off. Is that perfectly healthy? you know what, fuck you. If someone gets a little joy in their life by being very pro america, you just shut your damned mouth about it. Everyone seems to forget that America actually is a fantastic country to live in. OK let’s tackle the confederate flag, since I know that’s where this will go next. “But physt? People that wave confederate flags are racist assholes looking for fights!” You know what? Maybe that’s right. Maybe some of those guys are actually psychopaths that want the conflict. I am not sticking up for people like that, but don’t you idiots dare lump them in with everyone like this meme is attempting to do. On to the big pink elephant in the room. Yes soldiers die in battle. That’s what they do. Using them as a tool to push some fucked up leftist agenda isn’t appreciated, but I’ll try my best to tackle it. And it’s not easy to tackle either. People dying in military combat is a really fucking hard thing to process. If it’s not hard for you to think deeply about, then you probably shouldn’t have grown up talks about it. I can tell you I hate the way this meme trivializes the whole thing. “thank them for their service as they roll by you in their wheelchair at wallmart.” I’m sure I can find you some statistics about how many people die in war, how many US military soldiers have died. How many civilian casualties have died. I’m sure I could actually dig up some stats and explain that for all the enlistees there really haven’t been that many miliatary deaths lately, but that is a fool’s errand. Since this part is really hard for me, I’ll end on some snark. I can tell this german asshole that the US military is their military. Germany is our ally, and we’d send our soldiers to defend them as well. I wish people just show a smidge of respect.







An excerpt from a rant about science denial

This was from some pointless argument about science denial and leftist dogma.  Hrmm… I guess I was yelling at some woman named Lynda.


Anyone that thinks people “don’t believe in science” is a complete puppet for an ideology. People are smarter than you think. What people are skeptical of is the leftist shit show that demands we completely screw over our citizens and more importantly our businesses on a damned whim. No leftist alive knows how on earth we will solve this “problem”: or even to what an extent this problem actually is. But they are very quick to propose “carbon taxes” and oppressive regulations without any evidence that they will do a damned thing. Anyone that thinks a little bit of tax here and there is fine doesn’t understand how money works. A few percentage points of income gone is the difference between you being very wealthy in 20 years and you having close to what you started with. That’s why this shit needs to be very very well thought out before implemented. Never “uh I guess we’ll be better off if we do this”. Which is what this crap all is. There is a difference between “we are here to stop you from dumping waste into this lake” and “you use x amount of gas so you should be taxed x amount of additional dollars”. And everyone on the left seems to be on the second side. And for Lynda, please read this one very slowly so when you reply I won’t have to re explain what I just said.

An excerpt from a rant about education.

I was in some pointless thread that was praising computers in schools.  This is an excerpt.


There really isn’t though. replacing blackboards with computers? Big deal. Japanese kids still use the abacus and they are killing us in the sciences. Last thing we need is more “technology” in education. What we need is more discipline in order to build conscientiousness. Big deal kids can type now, they can’t sit still for more than 10 minutes, and none of them have been properly condition for real world struggle. Everyone misses the damned point when it comes to education. “But we need a good curriculum with no religion blah blah” Who cares about the stupid curriculum, you can learn any facts you need in 2 seconds with a wikipedia search. The point of the school is making the child actually do real, hard work. So that the child actually has the tools necessary for both further education and the rest of his life. What good is teaching kids “science” or whatever if they can’t sit still. What good is teaching them anything if they aren’t even close to properly socialized and comfortable with things like failure and (dare I say it) your bootstraps. We saw examples of kids in higher education crying on the streets when Trump won the election. Actually crying. How is that kid supposed to keep a job? How can any of these kids innovate anything if they aren’t taught the value of very very hard work. Innovation isn’t just a government sponsored miracle, it takes hard, often very tedious, work. And it very often takes work in a team with other people with the same goals working for a boss that puts tremendous pressure on them. These are things that aren’t cultivated in schools as far as I can tell anymore. Hell, I’d take a school that taught discipline and camaraderie and still used blackboards any day over some whack job leftist primary school with all the tech in the world.

Taxation isn’t just theft, it is turbo-theft you fucking idiots.

Usually I use the words faggot, pussy, and leftist interchangeably.  But I wanted to also add in the term “fucking retard” to the list.

I’m going to blow your mind with some math here and explain to you fucking retards about taxes.  It is really easy to shit on dumb leftists that want to toss Bernie Sanders’ salad.  They simply can’t comprehend that you have to pay for all these dumb social programs with real money.  But they have no idea how much money that taxation actually robs you.  Please allow me to explain.

I discuss investing strategies all the damned time with people.  It boggles their mind how a PERT calculator works.  Here are some of the basics.

  • Low fee index funds give you 8% over time.  That doesn’t mean you get it your first year, or that you won’t get more your first year, but over time that’s what you will get.  Conservatively.
  • The market appears to be rocky, but it is actually quite stable, even in the face of leftist interference.  At least for now so any of the shit I’m going to tell you could all blow up in the event of MORE fragility injected into the system via interference.  Please read this with the smart part of your brain and not the stupid part.
  • I use this site to determine how much it costs you to live in an area.  This is the minimum living wage calculator.  I think it is mostly bullshit and that you can live for much lower if you aren’t a pussy.  But for our purposes I like using it.  Where I live it costs you ~22k per year to live singly in a household.  That number can get lower with roommates, but let’s just roll with it for easy math.  22k or else you get up to 22k by giving blowjobs or selling weed.
  • A PERT calculator is something your ass should have learned about in school but probably didn’t.  If you did, it wasn’t fucking drilled into your brain like it should have been.  The idea is simple.  If you are investing and you never withdraw your money, it will build upon itself and become very powerful.  If you have 100 bucks and add 8% you now have 108 bucks.  Now you add 8% of 108 bucks which is more than 8 additional bucks.  I’m not here to teach you this, you should know this already.

Ok let’s have some fun here.

Let’s pretend you are Jimbo Faggator the young, up and coming, IT professional.  Well, you just got your ccna and managed to get a pretty sweet education by actually earning scholarships and all that.  Let’s suppose your ass is making 60k per year.  Holy fuck that’s pretty good right?  Well it was until the fucking man shoved his theft-dildo into your ass and took 30% of it before you even saw it.  BOOM now you take home 40k.  Well shit that sucks.  We know life costs you 22k from the above website.  FUUUUUCK that means now you only have 18k left.  Ok That 22k actually includes an “other” category that you might be able to use for a little bit of fun, so let’s pretend you are actually not addicted to stimulation and can use that 18k for some investing.  Let’s also pretend that the Faggators have a brain defect and will never get smarter or more proficient once they hit the workforce and their salary will never go up.  Let’s pretend that you can invest 18k per year into a low fee index fund each year.

This right here is the power of investing:

ok 1 year, big deal you now have 18k in your savings.  That doesn’t seem like all that much right?  How about 10 years?  Well shit in 10 years you now have:  281,618.77.  That’s a lot of fucking money.  In 20 years, when you are 40 you have:  889,612.59.  Now we are cooking with gas.  Well shit, how about retirement at 40 years?  5,036,058.72  That’s 5 million fucking dollars.  Investing 18k per year means you retire with 5 million fucking dollars. 18k per year = 5 million dollars.  And it gets higher the more you put in and the longer it is there.  A lot higher.  Suppose you go up to 25k per year:  6,994,526.01.  It goes up to nearly 7 million.  That’s 2 million more with a 7k increase.  This, you idiots, is why young people are poor and old people are rich.  You barely even have to be smart to be rich, you just have to live 40 years which most of us do.

Ok that’s great, but the point of this article is to shit on taxes and socialism, not just espouse the greatness of capitalism.  Well let’s do both.  Lots of leftists jack off to European utopias.  They say shit like “they have so much!”,”their free healthcare is amazing”.  All that shit is garbage because they don’t understand how much it actually costs the individual.  Belgium has a nearly 60% tax rate.  I’m not bullshitting you.  Just imagine this scenario.  You have a household making 100k with a husband and wife, no kids.  Let’s say that over 40 years the government took 60k per year from you.  You will likely make more than 100k jointly over time, but we’ll keep it small so that we can do the long term math more easily.  Here we go.  60k per year invested for 40 years.  16,786,862.41.  That’s how much you would have had instead of paying those taxes.  How much should healthcare and “roads” and all that shit actually cost?  And that’s not even an outrageous example.  Imagine if you are even a bit more wealthy.  So how much should 17 Million dollars get you in a lifetime?  A free education?  Free healthcare?  Some fucking roads?  Hint:  your ass is getting really fucking ripped off here.

People need to pull their heads out of their asses and start thinking about taxes properly.  Taxes aren’t just “revenue” for the government they are hugely missed opportunity for growth.  So anytime anyone casually proposes a “tax” you should probably punch them in their stupid face.  Every single dollar taken from you could have been invested at 8% over 40 years.  This isn’t fucking voodoo.  Oh and for the record that 1 dollar turns into 21 dollars.  That’s a 21x return on your investment if you actually invest it.

This also means if you are reading this, your ass should have already started investing if you want apiece of this fucking pie.

Fuck you,




A conversation with a young TRPer about oneitis

I figured it might be cool to save this.  Maybe I can extract some info from here an turn it into a good article.
The goal was to get his baseline proper.  I don’t think any girl is going to like a guy that doesn’t take care of himself.  Girls like guys that are tough of both body and mind, and this kid was trapped.  I think if he does all the shit I recommend he’ll become harder as a man and will eventually get his head out of his ass regarding females.  No respectable girl will bang him in his current condition, but I don’t think it will take long for him to break out of it.  I like to think of it like a maslow’s hierarchy of sexual interaction.  He can’t get better, until he ditches the oneitis.  It is a giant roadblack.

1:07 PM @physt IT is very profitable but it is also a giant trap for dudes. It’s about as far from being a medieval warlord as you can get.
1:07 PM @physt so your masculinity dwindles down to an effiminate gay frog level.
1:07 PM womz2004 the first thing u gotta do is stop being a cuck at work, start there and move to friends, then to females
1:07 PM taiino Nigga what @alpharabbit
1:07 PM  womz2004 ( was kicked by @physt: I’m talking here nigga damn
1:07 PM jotenko lolol
1:08 PM alpharabbit not fat, but girls who are curvy in the classical sense turn me on
1:08 PM Abattoir lol
1:08 PM penumbra lol who was that guy, what shit advice
1:08 PM @physt Abattoir: OK so the first thing we have to do is add some struggle into your life.
1:08 PM alpharabbit but like i said maybe its because i havent really had a taste of the GOOD shit yet
1:08 PM @physt real men struggle, fake as weak bitches have pampered western IT lives.
1:08 PM Channel mode set to +m by @Q

1:08 PM @Anteros ok
1:08 PM @physt anteros++
1:08 PM @TRPbot anteros’s karma is now 198
1:09 PM @physt flipping the switch of death
1:09 PM @Anteros only voiced/op users can speak now
1:09 PM +Abattoir I don`t understand what that means…
1:09 PM @Anteros we’ll remove this shortly
1:09 PM @physt Abattoir: So right now do you do any sort of physical activity?
1:10 PM +Abattoir I go for walks sometimes but no sports or gym or anything like that
1:11 PM @physt ok so all the recommendations I’m going to make to you are a part of changing your daily “system”.
1:11 PM @physt and step 1 is we need to up your physical activity
1:11 PM @physt EVERY DAY
1:11 PM @physt and I recommend you go to the gym.
1:11 PM @physt This is not to build muscle or anything. It’s to struggle and suffer
1:11 PM  eroksan joined (
1:12 PM @physt So after we are done talking, locate a gym close to you and get a membership.
1:12 PM @physt I don’t care what program you do, as long as it is every single day.
1:12 PM +Abattoir Yeah that makes sense. WHat doesn`t kill you makes you stronger etc right?
1:12 PM @physt ok step 2. let’s talk about your fatness levels. How fat are you?
1:13 PM +Abattoir quite skinny actually, believe it or not
1:13 PM @physt I do believe it, that’s great.
1:14 PM +Abattoir ^_^
1:14 PM @physt But I want you to change your diet so that you are experiencing more hunger. I want you to eat one meal per day, at approximately the same time each day.
1:14 PM @physt weather that is lunch or dinner depends on your career actually.
1:14 PM +Abattoir How big a meal?
1:14 PM @physt If it is important to have lunch with your coworkers as part of job advancement then do lunch. If it isn’t then do dinner.
1:15 PM @physt just 1 normal sized meal like you would normally have. Do not concern yourself with carbs or calories or anything. And when you are full, stop eating.
1:15 PM @physt don’t seek out any specific foods. Just eat what a normal human would.
1:15 PM +Abattoir Well, okay. How does all this suffering help me get better with women though?
1:16 PM @physt first learn stand, then learn fly
1:17 PM @physt ok so regarding the gym and your diet. Those 2 must be adhered to every single day, period. No “cheat days” or any bullshit like that. No “rest days” either. Every single day you spend at least 1 hour at the gym.
1:17 PM @physt I don’t care what you do, but the harder it is, the better it will be for you. Never miss a day
1:17 PM Channel mode set to +c by @Q
1:17 PM @physt ok next. How much sleep do you get each night?
1:18 PM +Abattoir 5 hours, give or take.
1:19 PM @physt ok I want you to get the same amount of sleep each night. Pick a bed time and stick to it like clockwork.
1:19 PM @physt no matter what, I want you in bed with your eyes closed at the same time each night
1:19 PM @physt you pick the time.
1:20 PM +Abattoir Well okay. I find it kind of difficult to fall asleep a lot of the time bt I`ll try!
1:20 PM @physt Let’s talk about a couple tips for falling asleep.
1:20 PM @physt sleepgainz?
1:20 PM @TRPbot sleepgainz: by cg–
1:21 PM @physt our buddy wrote a good article on this. But it boils down to a couple things in my mind.
1:21 PM @physt 1. Ditch all the blue lights an hour before bed time. Weather that is with glasses or just by removing it in general.
1:21 PM @physt 2. Ditch all stimulants in the evening.
1:21 PM @physt 3. Doing hard ass work in the gym to burn off your excessive energy.
1:22 PM @physt 4. This leads into my next bit.
1:22 PM +Abattoir I`ll keep those in mind
1:22 PM @physt Ok so since you are going to be changing up your entire life here, you are going to be stressing yourself out.
1:23 PM @physt So what I want you to do is setup a google calendar and put all your time in it. If you decide to do gym in the morning, put it on your calendar. If you decide the evening put it at the time you plan to go.
1:23 PM  womz2004 quit (webchat@ Signed off
1:23 PM @physt Put your meal on the calendar
1:23 PM @physt put your work on the calendar and your bedtime, and the 1 hour before bedtime that you ditch the blue light.
1:23 PM @physt you can even use your work calendar that has your IT shit on it.
1:24 PM +Abattoir This seems like a lot of work…
1:24 PM @physt just so long as that calendar chirps at you when you need to do something.
1:24 PM @physt nah it’ll take you 5 minutes
1:24 PM @physt just set it up to repeat each day
1:24 PM @physt use google calendar or something like that.
1:24 PM @physt recurring events or whatever they are called
1:25 PM @physt ok let’s talk about your video games. I want you playing video games in a different way now.
1:25 PM +Abattoir WHat do you mean?
1:26 PM @physt each night I want you playing video games for exactly 1 hour, and 20 minutes. No more, no less.
1:26 PM @physt and never during the 1 hour before bedtime
1:26 PM @physt exactly 1 hour and 20 minutes.
1:26 PM @physt what game are you playing?
1:27 PM +Abattoir it varies tbh. been enjoying Sonic Mania lately
1:27 PM @physt 1 sec.
1:27 PM @physt ok excellent that is a great game for this.
1:28 PM @physt ok so play the game like this:
1:28 PM @physt make sure you are starting at exactly the time on your calendar you have allocated for this. I want you to play the holy shit out of that game. I want you so fucking good at this game that you amaze people.
1:29 PM @physt and I want you to play up until the very second 1 hour 20 minutes is over.
1:29 PM @physt and I want you ONLY playing that sonic game. NO OTHERS.
1:29 PM @physt and you need to play it with zero distractions. Shut off your phone. no extra music or anything else.
1:30 PM @physt ok so let’s do a quick recap. Calendar, 1 meal per day, gym every single day, sleep same time each night, no blue light 1 hour before sleep.
1:31 PM @physt you crystal clear with all that?
1:31 PM +Abattoir Yeah, that seems reaosnable
1:31 PM +Abattoir WHy no blue light specifically though?
1:32 PM @physt blue light tricks your body into thinking it’s still daytime, so it is harder to fall asleep.
1:32 PM +Abattoir Oh, clever.
1:32 PM @physt yeah buddy, we’re smart like that up in here.
1:32 PM +Abattoir maybe I should look at red light instead haha
1:32 PM @physt sleepglasses?
1:33 PM @physt those actually work very very well at blocking blue light.
1:33 PM @physt ok so you got all that stuff.
1:33 PM @physt and you are starting as soon as possible. Tonight even.
1:33 PM  Xagan joined (
1:33 PM @physt SO… now that you ahve all this information
1:34 PM @physt Let’s tlak about girls
1:34 PM @physt ah yes, those strange wondrous creatures
1:34 PM @physt well, they aren’t strange or wondrous or anything. They are just girls.
1:35 PM +Abattoir Haha. I`d be lying if I said I understood them
1:35 PM @physt well you are in the right place, because we all understand them pretty damned well.
1:35 PM +Abattoir They seem pretty wonderous to me..
1:35 PM  Xagan quit ( Signed off
1:35 PM @physt and the first thing that weirds them out is when you think of them as strange wondrous creatures.
1:35 PM  Xagan joined (
1:36 PM @physt from now on they are just meat bags like you and me, except they don’t have as much upperbody strength.
1:36 PM +Abattoir That seems a little reductive…
1:36 PM @physt holy shit, you ARE paying attention
1:36 PM @physt GOOOOOOOOD
1:37 PM @physt it is intentionally reductive so you don’t shoot yourself in the damned foot
1:37 PM +Abattoir Was that a test?
1:38 PM +Abattoir I guess you`re right. I mean, women are people. No one gets anywhere by treating another person like garbage, right?
1:38 PM @physt Here’s the problem with your thinking on women. You thinking that girls are wondrous creatures yaddda yadda, entitles them to you without them having done a shred of anything to deserve you.
1:38 PM @physt you are a cool guy, why on earth should they simply deserve you by existing?
1:39 PM +Abattoir Well that`s not really how I think in fairness
1:39 PM @physt I dunno man, you are “crushing on someone” right now right?
1:40 PM +Abattoir Well yeah but idk it`s not a completely empty crush. We`re friends – not super close, but friends – and I really like her personality.
1:41 PM @physt ok so you will need to get that nonsense out of your brain as soon as possible.
1:41 PM @physt and here is how you are going to do it.
1:41 PM @physt Here is your last daily activity.
1:41 PM @physt it’s a combo
1:41 PM +Abattoir wait why is that nonsense
1:42 PM @physt you are focusing on a girl that doesn’t like you at the expense of your whole life.
1:42 PM @physt and it has to stop now
1:42 PM +Abattoir How do you know she doesn`t like me?
1:42 PM @physt “not super close” <– If she liked you, you’d have banged already.
1:42 PM @physt she’s not interested
1:43 PM @physt there is nothing about you that makes her tingle in her lady parts
1:43 PM +Abattoir Well I don`t think that`s necessarily true, what if she feels the same but is too nervous to say anything as wel
1:43 PM @physt oh, it’s true
1:43 PM +Abattoir well*
1:43 PM @physt girls don’t have the same problems us guys do.
1:43 PM @physt they can fuck anyone they want.
1:44 PM @physt if that girl came up to you and said “hey Abattoir let’s go back to my place and make out” you’d fucking do it and you know it.
1:44 PM +Abattoir Maybe in a sense but isn`t that a bit of a generalisation?
1:44 PM @physt she wouldn’t have to say a damned thing besides that either
1:44 PM +Abattoir girls can experience being shy and nervous as well, no? They`re humans
1:44 PM @physt Abattoir: not like you can
1:44 PM @physt girls are a much much different animal
1:44 PM @physt SO… here is what you need to do
1:44 PM +Abattoir I don`t understand, I`m sorry.
1:45 PM @physt girls and boys are vastly different. Each one has their own issues and problems my friend.
1:45 PM @physt they seem to stop teaching that in the schools apparently.
1:45 PM @physt so anyways here is your final life change.
1:45 PM @physt It is 2 parts.
1:46 PM @physt 1. You will NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES talk to this girl unless she talks to you first.
1:46 PM @physt PERIOD
1:46 PM @physt This is critical
1:46 PM @physt and 2. You will talk to 5 female humans per day other than her.
1:46 PM +Abattoir But, I like talking to her.
1:46 PM @physt I’m not saying to hit on them, I’m not saying to strike out with them or whatever. Just have a short (or long) conversation about anything.
1:47 PM +Abattoir That just sounds like a dick move.
1:47 PM @physt your life depends on it
1:47 PM +Abattoir DOes it really though? I Won`t die if I talk to her
1:47 PM @physt ok let me paint a picture for you.
1:48 PM @physt You are focused on this girl and she doesn’t like you. You think she does, but you are wrong. So you neglect talking to other females. 5 years from now, you get up the courage to ask her out, she says no. You have lost 5 years of your life.
1:48 PM @physt Your life literally depends on this.
1:49 PM +Abattoir MAybe I should just ask her out now…
1:49 PM +Abattoir get it over with, even if she rejects me
1:49 PM @physt so I can sense everyone in channel listening to us getting enraged at the thought of “asking a girl out”
1:49 PM +Abattoir I`d be okay with just being friends.
1:50 PM +Abattoir THe closure is more important
1:50 PM @physt why?
1:50 PM +Abattoir Because the uncertainty would be maddening
1:50 PM @physt I can tell you for certain she doesn’t see you as a viable candidate for sex.
1:50 PM @physt there, now you don’t have to
1:50 PM +Abattoir how can you know that for sure
1:50 PM +Abattoir you don`t know her, you`re not in her head
1:51 PM @physt this is going to be really hard for you to come to terms with.
1:51 PM @physt and I get it
1:51 PM @physt you’ve pumped her up inside your head so high that the mere thought of her not liking you makes your own stomach hurt.
1:52 PM +Abattoir You`re generalising again, that`s not really the case.
1:52 PM +Abattoir YEah I`d be disappointed if she rejected me but you know, that`s life
1:52 PM @physt I’m right and deep down inside, you know it. You can attempt to argue with me about it all you like.
1:52 PM +Abattoir I can`t accept that. I know how I feel.
1:53 PM @physt I’ve advised you to never speak to this girl on purpose. This advice is critical to your well being. I am really fucking good at this, and you should take what I say very seriously.
1:53 PM @physt you are in this channel for a reason
1:53 PM @physt 1. Never speak to her on purpose. 2. Talk to 5 human females per day.
1:54 PM +Abattoir But you haven`t given me a reason as to why this will work, you`ve just told me to do it
1:54 PM +Abattoir I`m sorry I`m being difficult but it`s hard for me
1:55 PM @physt the reason is you are a fucking retard with oneitis for a girl. It’s making you really fucking stupid and offputting. Most men in here are disgusted by you. But i’m being kind and giving you advice so that you will fucking listen.
1:55 PM @physt because you definitely won’t listen if people just yell at you.
1:56 PM @physt if I unmute this channel right now these guys will tear your head off
1:56 PM @physt oneitis?
1:56 PM @TRPbot oneitis: When a guy has fallen in love with a woman in the same way a boy loves his mother. He obsesses about her, but she does not reciprocate. Love is a drug, and your dumbass got addicted to one supplier.
1:56 PM +Abattoir Well, why? I`m asking honest questions
1:56 PM @physt that is literally what you have
1:56 PM @physt and it is ruining you.
1:56 PM +Abattoir But… that`s not what I have? I don`t obsess over her
1:56 PM @physt you are in an IRC channel asking about her man.
1:56 PM @physt that in and of itself proves it
1:57 PM +Abattoir Well.. I guess that`s a fair point but how can I know she doesn`t reciprocate if I haven`t asked her about it?
1:57 PM +Abattoir WHy is manipulating her better than being honest?
1:57 PM @physt you aren’t manipulating anything. You are protecting yourself from yourself.
1:58 PM @physt in reality oneitis ruins men
1:58 PM @physt we normally advise people to break off all contact period.
1:58 PM @physt which is what I SHOULD advise you to do, but i’m guessing she is some kind of what coworker?
1:58 PM @physt friend of a friend?
1:59 PM +Abattoir I`m on a part time course at college and she`s a classmate.
2:01 PM @physt my advice stands. I’m going to unmute this channel and my god have mercy on your soul. If you do everything I’ve said for a month without missing a single day, we will be happy to provide further tweaks to your day.
2:01 PM @physt you are very far behind for your age. So I really suggest you take this all seriously.
2:01 PM +Abattoir Well, thank you for taking the time to help me. Sorry if I disrupted the chat..
2:01 PM @physt you’ve made the chat better actaully
2:01 PM +Abattoir THing is like, I don`t wanna lose her as a friend. I feel like if I ghost her that would be a dick move
2:02 PM +Abattoir And even beyond the crush thing I still think she`s a good person
2:02 PM @physt yep, you’re screwed

A conversation with a young TRPer about heaven and hell.

I had a chat in private message with a TRPer about heaven and hell.  It think this is worth saving so people will get some of this into their own heads.  Weather or not you believe in heaven and hell in the afterlife, you should really consider thinking about the here and now, at least while you are here.





Friday, August 18th, 2017

2:57 PM self-making-v2 Has physt got any verbal arse kicking material on procrastination?
5:05 PM physt picture yourself at 30. having done nothing with your life. I bet that guy will be pissed at you.

Saturday, August 19th, 2017


1:22 AM self-making-v2 But that’s hyperbolic something (i think it’s reasoning). I finally watched JP’s how to slay your dragon… it helped
1:22 AM physt so when you picture yourself at 30, what do you see?
1:23 AM self-making-v2 I can’t envision that, honestly… I guess i just see this same bloke… and at 30, would be even more pathetic than i think of me now
1:28 AM physt because a lot of people don’t know what hell really is.
1:28 AM physt hell is waking up at 30 and realizing that you have accomplished NOTHING.
1:29 AM self-making-v2 I feel the catholic church would of been more successful if they sold heaven and hell in this way
1:29 AM physt hell isn’t after you are dead man
1:29 AM physt hell is here
1:29 AM physt hell and heaven
1:30 AM self-making-v2 I do have to say thank you though. You are definitely right about me being a narcissist
1:32 AM physt what do you think heaven actually is?
1:32 AM self-making-v2 for me, independence, milk and honey, the typical shit slaves dream of
1:34 AM self-making-v2 And to slow down time
1:34 AM physt yeah but if you had all that, you’d get soft, and in the case of slowing down time what would even motivate you?
1:35 AM physt I mean let’s be honest, you are procrastinating now… if you could slow down time, you’d be super screwed
1:35 AM self-making-v2 touche… but that’s why it’s heaven right? To have it all with no consequences.
1:36 AM self-making-v2 And i’ve been up for 35 minutes, this is waking up, not procastination
1:41 AM physt consequences give you meaning and purpose. nope, heaven can’t be without those. You’re going to have to come up with something better than that. Unless you are some kind of nihilist
1:42 AM self-making-v2 I genuinely can’t do nihilism. My brain doesn’t allow it
1:42 AM physt good, the only nihilists I’ve ever met were either in denial of fucking psychopaths
1:43 AM physt so what is heaven to you?
1:44 AM self-making-v2 Is it bad that when i think of heaven, my brain imagines being a powerful person in the community. And benevolent as well, i’d love to shape my community for the better
1:45 AM physt that’s a great heaven!
1:45 AM physt … but you can have that now
1:45 AM physt you just have to get it
1:45 AM physt last thing you need to do is die in order to get it either.
1:46 AM physt look man the point is this. Heaven and hell are here. Heaven is you becoming what you want, and hell is you fucking off and not getting it.
1:46 AM self-making-v2 Well like a complete momo, i’m literally writing a list of dragons i need to slay within myself
1:46 AM physt you should. that’s what JP’s self authoring program is and he’s had monstrous amounts of success with it.
1:47 AM physt heaven is moving forward, hell is standing still or moving backwards. weather you are religious or not, that has gotta make sense to you.
1:48 AM physt and when you said give you advice for procrastination, I’m trying to save you from hell!
1:48 AM self-making-v2 Yeah but my head imagines me way behind the rest of the herd, which is a strange thing because if you look at JP’s numbers for views… there’s a lot of people like me so why do i keep trying to trick myself?
1:48 AM physt don’t compare yourself to the herd. that’s foolish and will only lead to you undervaluing yourself. You are all you’ve got man.
1:49 AM self-making-v2 cheers man
1:49 AM physt so do some shit! get a little more heaven in your life and a lot less hell!
1:50 AM self-making-v2 lol
1:50 AM self-making-v2 sounds like a bumper sticker
1:50 AM physt you’re right, I really gotta sell this stuff

Case study: Guy in TRP IRC channel’s dick doesn’t work with white girls.

OK gang, we’ve got a case study here.  Our bro from the channel is going through some shit right now.  So I figure maybe I can provide a little feedback.

I’ve pasted in his self-evaluation so we could all get a better handle on what he’s going through.  Read this, and then read my take on it at the bottom


cant get hard with this one new girl 3/3 times: she’s cute, tall (5’11-6′), submissive, white, from midwest — not used to white girls, tall girls, such passive/submissive girls, non-californian girls ; almost exclusively fuck tiny asian girls at my college). would attribute it to nerves but wasnt able to get myself hard on any of the times even after she left (although i was mostly fine with other girls during this time period)
really bad brain fog — can’t stay focused, get very distracted very easily, act a bit awkward socially (usually a social butterfly), write retarded code/messages, forget things/what i was doing
sometimes get really sad at nights for no reason, only fixed by sleeping (had this for years, would only happen maybe once per month when i would get really exhausted but lately happens a few times per week)
not able to fall asleep for naps + takes an hour to fall asleep at night despite always being very sleepy and very tired ahead of nap attempts/bedtime and practicing good hygiene (restricted screen time before bed, blue light blocking glasses, sleeping mask, earplugs or sleep music, quiet environment, nap attempts (which last 45min-2h and have been unsuccessful 10 out of 10 times this month) on a sofa/in my bed/in the grass at a park, focusing on breathing/counting/imagining fictional stories to try and fall asleep). ive never been extremely successful with naps but ive always been able to fall asleep quick
recent loss/infrequency of morning wood, very low desire for sex
feel like my body betrays my mind, confidence, assertiveness — recently just feel more awkward and feel like i’m faking it whenever i act confidently/assertively
recently feel way more insecure/emotional/prone to emotional swings/sad
very sleepy throughout day


my life is objectively going really well
just turned 20
rising college senior in CS degree program at a california university
no stress about money/career
steady 185lb at 6’2
3 plates this summer, sex ~2x/week
5x lift per week (on and off for 2 years, “on” for last 2 months, 60-80min per workout, 20-30min running couple times per week) peaked at 3x5x145 OHP, 3x5x225 bench, 3x5x275 squat, 1x5x345 DL; been doing FST (lower volume serge) since end of july
low sugar / no processed food diet, lots of healthy all-you-can-eat food at school / internship cafeterias, lots of veggies
no alcohol/drugs/caffeine
no porn in weeks, only infrequent very vanilla porn prior, fap 1-3x/week up until nofap over the last month (out of lack of desire rather than a directed effort)
did 1 meal IF for 16 days, stopped doing it <2 weeks ago
daytrading crypto for 2 months (mid May to mid July) — very high risk/volatile and averaging a bit less than one price alarm going off per night — lots of round-the-clock anxiety from this (perhaps it’s stuck around even since stopping 1month ago?)
dreadfully behind on cushy software engineering internship at big silicon valley tech giant (due to crypto / brain fog), been nervous about manager finding out up until last week (when i started really working)
lackluster social life my whole life until this upcoming fall
vitamin D or some kind of mineral deficiency? been supplementing vit D(5-10k IU/day)/zinc/magnesium/L-arginine/ZMA heavily for the past 3 weeks. last summer I was vitamin D deficient and felt similar effects to now
probably had sleep apnea up until a surgery in May to fix chronic mucus/breathing problems (infected tonsils, deviated septum, enlarged something-in-my-nose-dont-remember-its-name); surgery was success, no issue since (issues were extremely apparent previous to surgery); getting sleep study done soon just in case
GLO fitness client for 2 months


the case for anxiety:
chew fingernails occasionally
often feel a bit wired (despite no drugs)
2 months of daytrading crypto 24/7 (ended >1 month ago) conditioned my brain for the worse?
dreadfully behind on software engineering internship (due to crypto / brain fog), been nervous about manager finding out up until last week (when i started really working)


the case for physiological issues:
vitamin D or some kind of mineral deficiency? been supplementing this heavily for the past 3 weeks. last summer I was vitamin D deficient and noticed very similar effects
recent loss/infrequency of morning wood, very low desire for sex
unable to get an erection sometimes (with that new girl, though that may be attributed to somewhat attributed to nerves/mental block)


course of action to solve my problems:
sleep study (sleep apnea?)
blood tests (vitamin/mineral/test deficiency?)
if the above two don’t expose any issues, then consider test/steroids (assuming test is lower than average) and look inwards to solve potential anxiety/mental sources of the above listed problems — I’m convinced that anxiety/mental at least plays a role in my problems, however at age 20 with my lifestyle I’d be shocked if there wasn’t something more going on



Shitty physt advice that you shouldn’t follow under any circumstances.  I am not a doctor and I hate you and will purposely fuck your life up worse.

You’ve been warned:


So, first of all you are only 20 years old.  I’d consider it very very unlikely that you have any sort of issue with your endocrine system, but you are smart to get that checked out.  I highly agree with all of the things in your course of action section.  Get the sleep study for sure and blood tests.

I personally think you might be suffering from a bit of what we call TNS or “TRP Negativity syndrome” which is a condition lots of recent pill takers suffer from which causes you to feel shitty about yourself despite all your actual success.  When you take the pill you see all these guys with supposedly fantastic lives and it kind of wears on you and makes you feel like a shitty guy.  I mean yeah you are shitty, but everyone is so who gives a fuck?  What I’m saying is that some of this specific stress might genuinely be getting to you.  I plan on writing up an article on how to chill the fuck out a bit without losing your edge. Since I know you are pretty new to this, it can be overwhelming without you even realizing it.  Bonus:  You are an intern, and that makes you the bottom rung on a big totem pole.  That could be contributing.

I highly recommend you find modern stoicism.  I link this book all the time in channel but even when people read it they sometimes don’t get it.  I think you should pay particular attention to goal setting and making sure your goals are based on the present and controllable by you.  I’m sure you’ve seen us discuss the concept of “building a system” rather than setting goals.  <– read this book then come talk about it with me.  If you’ve already read it, let’s talk about your goals.

Do not go on steroids.  I’ve already written 2 articles on that on this site and have ranted ad nausiam in channel.  Even if your doctor recommends it make sure you try and talk him out of it.  Only then should you go on it.  Steroids are not for kids in their 20s.  I’d recommend exhausting all other options first.  They are tempting.  Do not do it!

I did a quick casual consult with a licensed therapist who gave a little bit of input:

His course of treatment is correct: sleep study, endocrine exam, urology exam (I don’t suspect any physiological issues since his dick works sometimes… Maybe he’s just not into non Cali white girls) and counseling. Anxiety/insecurity about fancy internship, work avoidance and brain fog seem intimately related. And twitchy trading habits aren’t good. Also need to rule out other mood disorders: dysthymia and, bipolar 2.

Also, stand up straight and clean your room bucko.

fuck you,




7:56 PM @Anteros in this one I’d draw correlation between the attention output vs fickle market of crypto and how it greatly encourages overanalysis that rarely pays off
7:57 PM @Anteros there is no good reason the boy has such an issue outside of overanalysis creating too much pressure in his mind
7:57 PM @Anteros its not dysthymia as he would’ve noticed chronic depression
7:58 PM @Anteros nor is it bipolarity because we’ve seen no evidence of highs or cyclical timing
7:58 PM  @Anteros armchairs
7:58 PM @Anteros its not physical. Hes 20 and in decent shape.
7:59 PM @Anteros My money is on anxiety born from the overanalysis. You can see it with his (no offense intended) incessant questioning about what we recommend in the channel
8:00 PM @Anteros dude spent his first two weeks asking preoptimization questions about IF
8:01 PM @Anteros my recommendation is to screw up some more, keep hands off the duck until you get through flatline and ditch the stim
8:01 PM @Anteros nature will take care of the rest.
8:02 PM @Anteros Anymore complexity will only excacerbate the issue


NOFAP: Put the dick down!

This topic gets brought up all the time.

“Hey physt, I jack off 3 times per day to objectively gross, my little pony related, female to male tranny porn, and now I can’t get it up when I’m fucking regular humans.  What the fuck is going on here?”

Well citizen, It seems you’ve jacked yourself right into a little box called the “holy fucking shit stop jacking off you retard… zone”.

“But physt, every leftist idiot out there says masturbation is great, healthy, and should be a part of everyone’s self stimulation portfolio from the time we have picked our gender at age 3 to the time we die of self loathing at age 40.”

Citizen, put your dick down.  It’s time we had a talk about NOFAP.


Yes NOFAP!  It’s not just for internet spergs anymore!  Time to break down life the universe and everything for you men out there.

Your stupid teachers never taught you the dangers of jacking off, so your uncle physt is going to now.

Just imagine this:

In a jackin’ off session you can fuck 50-1000 girls that are hotter than 99% of women on earth.  You can fuck them in any disgusting and morally questionable way your overstimulated brain can come up with.  You can do this without being in any sort of physical shape or having any sort of skill talking to them.  You can do this many times per day.

You can do this so often that you will actually get bored of the normal stuff.  You might even need to get a little creative or venture into that dark and scary part of the internet to get your jollies.

This isn’t just bad for you.  This is really fucking bad for you.  It is bad for all men on earth.

But not for you, because you are going to knock this shit off right now and jump on…

dun dun dun….


Yes you are going to stop jacking off and you will only jizz inside mostly willing females.  This way your brain will stay sharp and you won’t feel like a used ketchup packet all the damned time.

Let’s talk about the reasons why jacking off sucks for you in specific terms:

  • You get a reward without doing any work for it.  And this reward is fucking huge!  This affects your motivation obviously.
  • Jacking off to modern internet porn is like doing crystal meth or cocaine for your brain.  You are probably addicted already.
  • You gradually need weirder and weirder shit to get off.  This is how furries are created.
  • Enjoy your “death grip” and barely functional penis.  The girl will love it if you ever actually manage to fuck one.
  • Jacking off takes away your edge.  It makes you calm and passive.  The world wants you that way.  Girls don’t.  Real men looking for heroes don’t either.

“But uncle physt, It’s fine when I do it, I’m no addict and I can still get a boner with even 3/10 girls!”  That’s great bucko, but do you really think jacking off is good for you?  I’m sure you are currently 18 years old and can get a boner when the wind blows.  But eventually your testosterone will drop a smidge and you’ll have to function like a normal human.  Last thing you want is to be a normal human that also is addicted to jacking off.

Your dumb ass has been warned.

“But physt, you know I can’t digest any information without reading 50 articles and spending 200 hours obsessively googling about what you say!”

Well here you go faggot!

This is the Tedx talk that started the whole movement:  This guy isn’t as eloquent as me, but he is well versed in all the science.

If you want to be around other spergs going through the same shit then go here:  They will welcome you with open hands that aren’t freshly covered in spunk.

Fuck you!  But don’t fuck yourself,