Why your tattoo is probably gay. A pointless rant by your uncle physt.

This applies to 99% of guys out there. Your tattoo is gay because you didn’t really earn it.
“But physt! I sat there for an hour and it hurt a lot and I paid money for it!”

You shut the hell up you faggot!

A tattoo stays on your body for your entire life. That is heavy. That must match something heavy that you have done or endured. You must earn this tattoo or you are cheating. You are gaining the value of the tat without having done anything to earn it. And don’t get this wrong, chicks love tattoos.

Earning it means your tattoo represents something fucking badass you did. This is also why every time I see a young person with a few tats, I immediately look down at them. Young people haven’t had time to do anything badass.

The majority of tattoos I have seen lately have been monuments to self stimulation and consumerism. For example, if you have a pokemon character anywhere on you, then you are probably gay. The obvious exception being if you actually created part of the pokemon franchise, or you are the worlds greatest pokemon whatever the hell it is. But if you simply like pokemon and got a pokemon tat… yep, you’re gay.

Lately I’ve seen tons and tons of comic art tattooed on people. Yep, that’s gay too. Unless you are a fucking artist that has created badass shit. Then you are good to go. If you are just a person that reads comics… yep, you are gay.

Here are some legit uses of the tat:

  • They can represent your affiliation with a group of people that demand respect.
  • They can represent actual struggles you’ve overcome. Make sure you aren’t overestimating your actual suffering here.
  • They can represent things you’ve done that are worthy of the tat. Make sure this is legit too.
  • They can sit on top of a badass person. Yep, if you are seriously fucking badass in general, get the fucking tat you badass motherfucker. Unfortunately most young people today are simply not badass. Just people looking to up their value without actually doing anything.


So if you are going to get that tat, you should really take inventory. If you have tats already, do some badass shit to earn them.

fuck you


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