I rant a shit load about Intermittent Fasting in the IRC channel. The rants nearly always look like this. You are probably here if I’m not yelling at you in person. Fuck you.
Your autistic ass has probably spent too much time reading broscience(tm) forums that convinced you to eat 97 meals per day, forcing food down with a plunger that has balls connected to the base. You have been lied to by people trying to sell you shit. Weather you are fat or skinny or built or gay this diet is for you. Do this shit and gain the physique you want while becoming an immortal super saiyan in the process. Also, fuck you.
- You should be eating a single meal per day period. This is when you are attempting to build muscle, which should be always. This is called Intermittent Fasting, but you genuinely shouldn’t go onto the internet and read about it otherwise you will convince yourself to do something easier and less effective.
- 1 meal per day, pick a time. But you can change it, just stick to one meal per day, that’s the only rule.
- It should be a “normal” meal for you. By normal, I mean don’t eat a whole cake for your meal. There is also no reason to stuff your face for that meal. Everything you’ve read about food on the internet is probably wrong. If you overeat you just shit the extra food and protein out. You do NOT need to be overeating to build muscle, it is much more related to hormones than that.
- Ideally it would be a ketogenic meal, but I wouldn’t say that’s a requirement.
- Physt attempts to keep that meal reasonable, and because He loves it, He will almost always have some sort of meat.
- Yes that means you can build muscle on ~1kcal per day. In fact, you will build more muscle due to what i’m going to explain below.
- Not eating allows your body to produce growth hormone. GH is produced in bursts and only during a fasted state. You need to fast for at least 18 hours in order for your second burst to take place. (Your first burst comes while you are sleeping).
- You should really skip 1-2 of those meals this week for a total of 2x 48 hour fasts per week. Your body bursts another and very large time if you do this, and having 1-2 of them per week will make recovery very very easy. This I would consider optional, but if you are looking for life hacks, this is a big one. Build up your fasting to include these, you will thank me.
- Yes i’m saying to build muscle you need to eat less often.
- There is also a theory regarding inflammation. Every time you eat your body becomes burdened with an inflammation response. It is essentially repairing the damage that eating is doing to your system. If you are eating constantly, your body is constantly inflamed and therefore constantly wasting resources repairing that, as opposed to repairing muscle tissue and making your muscles bigger. Yes, this means that you are less efficient at repairing the tissue you broke down via lifting.
- You may be shocked to know that nearly every disease known to man that we are living with in the first world can be traced back to this process. The less often you are eating the more healthy you will be. Do this diet.
- I bet by now your autistic ass has gone on the internet and frantically googled IF and have come across eating windows. Well guess what, you just made yourself gay. Eating windows remove much of the benefit this diet provides.
- You don’t gain the simplicity of one meal.
- You don’t gain the cost effectiveness of one meal.
- If your windows are longer than 2 hours you don’t gain the benefit of the last release of GH per day. WOOPS no bonus gains for you idiot.
- Don’t go with eating windows, just go with one meal per day. Stop making your life more complicated than it is.
“But physt, I’m autistic and If I’m not counting calories and carbs and all that I start hyperventilating and angerbating!” Ah, yes. You’ve been trained from the time you are were really young to be concerned with bullshit numbers that don’t matter nearly as much as people think. Start by reading this article: http://arstechnica.co.uk/science/2016/01/why-the-calorie-is-broken/ It will explain why calories are mostly bullshit and are really only useful to track changes in your eating habits in terms of quantity of food shoved into your cock-hungry mouth. So, the last thing I’d recommend you do is count calories at all. Just eat one normal meal per day. That’s it. Sounds too good to be true doesn’t it? So simple!
Some of the best advice I can ever give is this. Stop fucking obsessing over food and your diet. The diet as I’ve outlined it means you can eat whatever you want without any stress. You already have enough stress in your life just being your pathetic self.
Here are some links you should never fucking read:
- https://www.scribd.com/document/323641369/Intermittent-Fasting-a-Guide Shoutout to laxman14 for this dope link.
- http://www.fitnessunderoath.com/the-44-hour-diet/ Some IF info for your ass
- http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC329619/ Fasting and GH
- Halberg, N, M Henriksen, N Soderhamn, B Stallknecht, T Ploug, P Schjerling, and F Dela. 2005. “Effect of Intermittent Fasting and Refeeding on Insulin Action in Healthy Men.” Journal of Applied Physiology 99: 2128–2136. doi:10.1152/japplphysiol.00683.2005. At this point go the fuck outside and do something rather than wasting your time on the internet.
- http://ajcn.nutrition.org/content/62/2/302.short%22 STOP IT
- http://bradpilon.com/ This asshole right here got me into IF like 8-10 years ago. I started with 2-7 24 hour fasts per week, now I do it everyday.
- Regarding inflammation: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ve6XQH68mg